The Ice Cream Man is Coming September 4, 2007
Today, Husband and I drove to a convalescent home to visit Husband’s Grandpa. We were told a few days ago that his state of health had changed and he might not live much longer. Given the description, I was amazed at Grandpa’s good spirits. He talked to us, pretended to tickle Little No Limit, and noted that The Boy looks just like Husband.
Throughout the conversation, his main remark was “Can you take me home?” The number is countless, how many times he asked us to do this. I chickened out and left the task to Husband to tell him we couldn’t do that. At one point, Grandpa said “Okay, you can’t take me home. Can you give me some money and I’ll take the bus?” Later, he said, “Can you just take me outside and show me your car?” We’re pretty sure Grandpa is formulating plans in the back of his mind on how get out of there. After all, he’s a decorated WWII vet who escaped a Nazi prison camp. Nursing homes aren’t nearly so strict.
Little No Limit and The Boy came with us to visit their Great Grandpa. Because Grandpa’s room had no seating, we went to the dining room, where Grandpa surprised us by asking for oatmeal (we had heard that the reason for his downward turn in health was from not eating). I left to get oatmeal, but the kitchen said they only served it in the morning, and gave me chocolate ice cream instead. Um, okay.
I returned with ice cream and Grandpa dug into it. The aide brought out additional ice cream cups “for the kids.” I did not have the opportunity to stop her and say that The Boy is not supposed to eat ice cream cup, because it contains milk, cream, and whey. And when Grandpa offered The Boy the ice cream, The Boy’s face lit up, an illumination that spread immediately onto Grandpa’s face.
It’s true, The Boy shouldn’t eat ice cream, but it’s not going to send him into anaphylactic seizure and kill him. It will make him itchy. I understand his discomfort level is about to go up enormously because of this ice cream cup. Believe me, I do. But there are some things I cannot say no to. An eighty year old man asking to eat ice cream with his great grandson is one of them.
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(This post was contributed to the Carnival of Family Life. You can read others at My Two Boys.)
We visited on Saturday and got similar pleas to take him home. For a man of his age with health troubles, he sure isn’t going down without a fight. The boy will probably always remember getting that icecream from his great grandpa
Good for you. Small compromise, big memory.
Poor guy, just wants to go home. I think that would break my heart. I’m glad the boy got to enjoy some ice cream with his gg. Too bad he’ll pay for it with itchies.
This made me smile. Even if it will set the boy back a little on the skin condition.
An excellent decision you made. A boatload of happiness in exchange for a small amount of discomfort. I bet it makes your boy happy, too, that he can pay that price.
A good time to break a rule.
Well done. I think I would feel the same way. I hope the itches pass quickly.
My grandfather lived with my father until a month or two before the end, and he preferred the nursing home. It had more going on and more people to talk to. People are unpredictable.
Sweet story and I think it was a good decision for everyone, too. Too bad about the lactose and celiac (?) intolerance. I know someone who’s lactose and wheat intolerant. He’s skinny. Actually, underweight.
Too bad about the nursing home. My mom lives on her own but every so often she’ll say, “I don’t want to live in a nursing home.” I’d stopped mentioning a ‘retirement community’ years ago!
Lovely post!
I think that is great he interacted with boy that way. He was pretty far gone when I was there. I told him about what a great golfer your DH is so I am very glad to hear Grandpa got a chance to see said golfer’s face and family
I want to go again, but it is so far.
Absolutely, ice cream cup = happiness = good memories. Will your son even remember the itchy part?
My dad will be 80 later this month. He and my mom still live in their big house in the country, but their health is deteriorating and I worry about who will go first and what decisions we kids will have to make.
Growing up sucks.
Sounds like a good decision; I hope The Boy remembers that cup of ice-cream with his great grandpa.
A small part of me hopes he escapes. Except, of course, the logical grownup part knows it wouldn’t really be a good idea. But it’s so sad.
What a wonderful story. I’m sure The Boy will remember that day with grandpa for years to come.
This post made me flat out cry.
There are few things sadder than what almost inevitably happens at the end of a long, independent life. I just hope your husband’s grandfather got many chances to relive his exciting wartime adventures, taking as long as he liked.
And good for you for not nixing the icecream. Thank God it wasn’t a box of Crackerjacks and your son with a nut allergy.
“Can you just take me outside and show me your car?” is just heartbreaking.
That’s sweet, reminds me of the way my Grandma’s face lit up whenever her Great Grandchildren were around.