Bottle of Wine, Fruit of the Vine, When You Gonna Let Me Get Sober November 8, 2007
I have whiled away countless hours in winery tasting rooms. Napa & Sonoma counties, the Central California wine region, and the Temecula Wine Valley, to be specific. In my experience (both personal and from observation), the first winery is fun, the second a bit more fun, the third you’re buzzed, the fourth, you’re drunk, and from that point on, the memories fade. When I have friends in town, they often want to go wine tasting, and I am happy to oblige, and be their designated driver, but when they start requesting we try to hit up eight wineries or something like that, I have no choice but to explain what happens to the people who go to eight wineries in a row:
First Winery:
Taster: Am I smelling it right?
Employee: Yes.
Taster: Oh, that’s nice.
Second Winery:
Taster: You know, this tastes a lot like the Zin we just had at the other winery.
Employee: Yeah, the two are very similar, but this one has more hints of pepper.
Taster: Oh! Now that you mention it, I do notice it. Pepper, huh? Interesting.
Third Winery:
Taster: Wow, this is really good. There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on… is that a hint of pepper I taste?
Fourth Winery:
Taster: Wow, this stuff really gets to your head. I don’t think I can handle any more wineries. I really like this one, though. It’s good. Peppery.
Employee: If you like this one, you really ought to try the one across the street.
Fifth Winery:
Taster: Ahhhh, this is good. What is it called again?
Employee: Water.
Sixth Winery:
Taster: Wow, you know what you should add to this? Sprite. Give it, you know, some bubbles and stuff. It’d be like champagne, only it’s actually wine and Sprite, you could call it… Sprine.
Seventh Winery:
Employee: I’m sorry, we received a phone call about you. We’re not giving you a tasting.
Taster: I’ll join your wine club.
Employee: Would you like to start with the whites or skip to the reds?
Taster: Something peppery. I love the peppery.
Eighth Winery:
Taster: Isn’t this winery a bed and breakfast? Do you rent out beds by the hour? I needed one, uh, like ten minutes ago (passes out).
Hope this clears things up for you. Happy wine tasting. And remember, “buzzed driving is drunk driving.” Stay safe.
Stuart Cellars, August 07
I AM SO JEALOUS.
And sober. Horribly, horribly sober.
Ditto to Beck.
Have you ever read Dave Barry’s story of attending a sommelier competition? You would love it. The story, I mean. Okay, the competition too.
I love Napa and Sonoma! I am jealous too. Although I think you about summed up how 8 wineries would feel. I also don’t recommend deciding that you can take the bus in from the East Bay and walk between wineries on a very hot day. It’s a long story.
Give me the Wine Train experience every time. Love your progression description.
Sprine.
I love that!
I have gone wine tasting in Niagara wine country but, somehow, “Napa and Sonoma” sound more glamorous. And peppery.
There’s a wine tasting vineyard at Victoria Gardens just down the hill from us. i have always wondered about what that was like. Now that I’ve read you post I wanna go try it! Then there’s that thing, you know . . . finding a sitter!
In my experience with power wine tasting… everything you wrote about usually occurred before noon!
Love Alexander Valley, Russian River and Dry Creek appellations. Sonoma is great because of Gundlach-Bundschu and Ravenswood. For Napa, I much prefer the northern end of the valley, Clos Pegase and hanging out in Calistoga.
Hmmm, I think I need to take a drive that direction some time soon and see if I can find a good peppery Zin.
My husband and I went wine tasting in Sonoma and Napa. We had a great time, but some of the other imbibers got on our nerves with all their posh, poncey talk about oaky noses and peppery accents and fruit box finishes. Even more than being a wine taster, I’d love the job of inventing nonsense expressions to describe the taste of wines. I’d work in machine oil, cat pee, malt vinegar and stuffed nose.
This. Is. Hilarious.
This is why I love you
And I would LOVE to go wine tasting. Wine tasting is sooo fun.
That is incredible. I have relayed this entry to several of my friends because it’s just so darn funny. Bless you for posting.
You skipped the part about gobbling up the entire basket of those fat round crackers to absorb the alcohol. And then when the employee asks if you’d like to taste anything else, you ask for more crackers. I think that usually happens just before the 8th winery. That’s when I consider that it might be time to stop.
My husband and I have gone wine tasting on bicycles, but I don’t know if we were any less of a public danger, but it did limit how much we could bring home with us.
I should have volunteered myself with the wine-tasting thing…7 years ago. Hehehe. Surely, I would have loved it!
I’m not up to it now though. I’ll just have to be contented laughing with your stories such as this.
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